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Showing posts from July, 2012

"I know this from somewhere..."

It is so weird to have an association with a place that you would never think you would have. Today, I went to San Jose to pick up a couch for mi madre with a lovely, fabulous, and downright awesome friend and we had to travel through the country to get to the I-5. At about halfway down this road, crossing over canals and passing dairies and almond orchards, I realized that I was smiling and surprisingly in a familiar state of mind. I felt comfortable and I loved it. When I realized this feeling, I tried to figure out why. This was the road that we normally took to go fishing in the canal with my dad, grandpa, grandma, and sister. Our family fished all the time. I used to love to string the worm on the hook or wrap the chicken livers with a string to the hook or watch as my grandma caught more fish than all of us while she was sleeping with her little bell attached to the end of her pole. It was awesome to relive some of those memories. It made me miss those people and trips in m...

Time of rest or boredom? Depends on the day.

I am supposed to be having this great time of rest with my family. You know, reconnecting, having conversations that we haven't been able to have because of the distance, and just flat out being a family. But it has been such a struggle. I am a person that needs to be doing something all the time. Have a purpose. Feel like a productive member of society...not a bum who is living with my mother. I know that I am helping my mom out while she is recovering from surgery but that only confirmed the fact that I could never be a stay-at-home mom. All my friends are 1.5 hours away so I don't see them as much as I want. I don't have a job so there is not a money flow going. I was just so used to the lavish RD lifestyle. Lol. My sister lives 1.5 hours away so I don't see her or the chirrens as much as I want. So, as I was wallowing at my own little pity party that no one came to and I had to buy everything myself (haha), I realized that I have the wrong perception of ...